I am so busy!
So…. here goes my first bit of writing about how Homeschooling has been.
First of all, the first week was amazing. But I was terribly mentally exhausted. Yet I felt so fulfilled deep within me! And I still do!
Now we’ve hit the end of Week 2 and I am starting to feel burnt out. I am giving myself a day to myself this Sunday – I will head out and do my own thing for the day. As much as I love my baby girl, I really really need to recoup and bring myself to ME.
One of the sad realisations about Homeschooling so far is that the time I do spend with my baby girl is all educational. We really haven’t had that free mummy & child time, where we just sit and cuddle and read books and do nothing. By the time School Time is finished, I just want to BE… and do nothing. I don’t want to be ‘mum’ and this has been a sad discovery.
In saying that, Homeschooling can virtually be anything you want it to be – so this brings me to the next lot of mental exploration that I’ve been having:
Basically, I have been actively teaching Leah at home with practical activities and worksheets. We get started at about 9:30/10am and we go till about 2:30pm. After that, we’ve generally been heading out to the School so that she can play with her friend Marnie. This week in particular was interesting in that my own Mum needed me to be with my little sister Jeannie on Wednesday for the afternoon, and instead of chopping up our day into bits, I decided to go to Mum’s place straight away and be there for the whole day. (Which was awesome cos Leah got to do craft with her grandma).
At times I have battled in my head with whether this is really the point of Homeschooling? I know that lots of Homeschooling parents go out a lot and let their children delve into nature-based play or they get involved with homeschooling activities. There is a local mum who organises lots of different activities, including horse-riding lessons and science projects I’m starting to feel that I should head that way a lot more than I have been (because real, live learning doesn’t compare to being at home doing worksheets). (I regress – I’m being harsh on myself because it hasn’t been all worksheets).
I do want to believe that I BELIEVE in real, live learning – and yet I’m not doing it. So I’ve been wrestling mentally with myself as to HOW I am going to shape this journey for Leah.
At the same time, Leah is a real homebody and doesn’t ever really want to leave the house! So with Homeschooling I initially wanted to give her the opportunity to not have to leave the house if she did not desire to. I was looking forward to enjoying just being home most days (yes, even myself!)(Surprisingly).
These are some of the few different topics playing out in my mind.
I also had big plans to continue her Montessori-method of learning but I don’t have any Montessori materials just yet. I feel like Time is getting away from me, even though it’s only been two weeks. But I guess it’s been a big two weeks.
At the same time on that note, I have been wondering about Montessori too – because Montessori work is also based inside 4 walls. And well, I have begun to wonder: is that really what I want for Leah during this Homeschooling time? Why not make the utter most of it and give her what Nature has to offer?
As you can see, I have lots and lots of different thoughts and questions and feelings on this whole matter.
I’ve also realised that I need to schedule Mummy & Leah time in. Because this is not coming naturally to us at the moment. It did the first day of Homeschooling – we had plenty of gorgeous cuddles between tasks. But not since. Maybe if I incorporate more fun outings (with just Leah and I) it could re-create those moments between us?
I’ve also realised that I really do need time out – every week.. I thought I would be fine with just once a month because Ilovemybabygirlsomuch. But that is a fallacy. Being Homeschooling-parent and parent is just too much to ask. I can only really do one or the other.
I’ve been going to a PT Group twice per week. I know that many mums see exercise as their Time Out – but I totally do not. While exercise absolutely does help one to cope, it does not feed the soul. It is this soul-feeding that I really, really need; possibly more than ever.
The other thing that has come about with Homeschooling is that because I no longer have time during the day to do my own stuff, I am staying up late at night to do my own stuff. I’m talking about work for mine and husband’s business and add to that my own projects. So for the first time in many years I’ve been going to bed at past midnight. I think this is also catching up with me.
I’m starting to lose my patience with my little girl, and to be honest, I’m really not happy with that.
So from here… I really want to try something new:-
(a) More outings
(b) Start meeting other Homeschooling parents
(c) Get in touch with our friends Fernando & Belen a lot more (seeing as they are Homeschooling their 6 year old son Jaeden – whom Leah loves so much)
(e) Schedule in Mummy & Leah Time, or Mummy & Leah days (independent of whether the activity involved ticks off Homeschooling requirements or not)
(f) Schedule in Me soul-time (and no, I must tell myself that this is not the same as working on my own projects!!!!)