So I just want to explore the concept of Homeschooling.
This is something that I was interested in about 3 months ago when I started thinking about the possibility of SAVING MONEY by doing Homeschooling. Wow, isn’t that so incredibly superficial, but there you have it! (Sometimes a great concept can begin as a not so humble superficial thought!)
At that time I started reading about Homeschooling for the pure purpose of finding out how it all works. As I got more and more into reading on the topic, I started getting EXCITED because I began to see that Homeschooling really paves the way for TRUE LIFE LIVING. I began to see that I could have such an amazing life. I could have the dream I always dreamed (but always thought was out of reach). I could give my daughter that amazing life! I really started to see, albeit, the very rosy side of Homeschooling.
In all fairness, I did also come across a blog about how difficult Homeschooling can be. It was a blog written by a Homeschooling mother who runs her own business from home, her husband does too, they’ve got 5 kids and it all gets very chaotic. But the whole point in her blog entry was this: despite all the chaos, Homeschooling is still not impossible.
Anyway, for awhile, during those few weeks that I was looking into Homeschooling, I was keeping my thoughts from my husband believing that, for sure, he was not going to agree on Homeschooling our child (because he is generally such a traditional type of guy). But I was sweetly surprised, as he always does surprise me. He said he didn’t mind the idea of HOMESCHOOLING but his only concern was whether I would be able to keep up with a strict schedule of academics, or keep a schedule at all, because he knows that I am naturally a bit haphazard. He kind of had a point and I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to leave this on the backburner’. Reason being that it did touch on a weakness of mine. I thought, ‘If he’s already got that concern, I just don’t want to delve into it any further.’ It suddenly got too hard.
The other reason was that I thought he wasn’t actually interested in opening up his mind to Homeschooling but perhaps was not able to tell me straight out. (It’s hard for us women to reconcile that what a man says is truly what he actually means!) (I also sometimes buy into the fallacy that others believe regarding us – that I wear the pants and he shakes in his boots. I appear very fierce but it’s a strong man who can tame a Latin-American woman, let me tell you that much!)
So the thought regarding Homeschooling is niggling at me again – and not just niggling. It’s woken me up and slapped me across the face today. The compelling feeling within me was so strong today that it almost had a life of its own. This morning I woke up and I felt with all my heart that I did not want to face the day. I get that this happens to the best of us from time to time, but this heaviness came so out of left-field, given that we’d had a wonderful last few days. This seeming darkness was so strong that I really felt there was something in this for me. Something strange. Something I wasn’t sure that I was ready for. And then it came to me:
This school routine kills my spirit.
And I thought – BAM – Then why do I have to put up with this? Why can’t I live a life that lets me have my full spirit?
I’ve talked to God about it. I asked God what He thought and I listened quietly. Sometimes God guides your thoughts to give you an answer immediately. Not always, but if you listen to the quiet inside you, He can. And He pointed out to me something that I had grossly chosen to overlook at our last parent information session – that the school is heavily Evolutionary (versus Creationary). I had convinced myself that I just had to keep the conversations flowing with Leah regarding God and His wonderful beauty, purpose and Existence. But here was this thought: The school ignores Me and calls me ‘something’ and ‘universe’ and ‘whatever you want to call it’. I’m not any of those things. I am the LORD your God.
This thought seemed to reveal itself to me completely out of context, popping into my head out of the blue and that seemed to be my first coin dropping.
Three months ago I didn’t mention my thoughts regarding Homeschooling to Leah at all whatsoever. She is only 6, after all, and these were just thoughts of mine at the time. All I did was begin to make mention to her of other kids that do HOMESCHOOLING. Such as Leaf, who was in her classroom, but is now doing HOMESCHOOLING. Most recently another little friend of hers, Dustin, is now going to start Homeschooling. Coincidentally, my little sister Isalia was also considering the possibility of leaving school and doing HOMESCHOOLING. So Leah has heard this word coming and going over the last 3 months. I’ve never said THIS COULD BE YOU but today I did.
I started the conversation about ‘a new school’ and it surprised me to discover that Leah was really excited about the prospect of trying a new school. If I could only explain to you just how out of character this is for Leah, who has always been so wary of new people, environments and situations – to the point where she said No to starting Gymnastics this Term because she felt intimidated about the idea of meeting girls that are a few years older than her; to the point that in 4 years of attending the same church, she still sticks by my side while I enjoy coffee with my church friends afterwards. To me, her excited reaction regarding ‘a new school’ was a big thing. It was another coin dropping.
Then I mentioned HOMESCHOOLING to her.
Her face was beaming.
I told her that HOMESCHOOLING isn’t just hanging out at home. It’s doing lots of different jobs, “You’re helping mummy, you’re learning mathematics and spelling, then we might do music, then you might do sports, then you might do some cooking, then you might do some gardening”. She seemed REALLY keen.
The only thing is that , this would be a whole new vocation for me. A whole new direction in my life. What I’ve been trying to do the last 3 months is to work on my own business as well as working on OUR business. I’ve been wanting to work on my own business, and I’ve been getting myself active with that sort of thing – attending business lunches, information sessions, seminars, webinars, reading up on entrepreneurial tips – actively gathering information and trying to get the word out there.
But with these sudden thoughts of Homeschooling my child, I’m sort of at a crux now.
Does it mean that my energies are now going to be focussed elsewhere? Is it just NOT TIME once again to do what I really want to do? I have to laugh. I had to put my business off because I suddenly found myself pregnant, then I had to put it off because I found myself launching a business with my husband, and now I’m putting it off because I’ve suddenly decided I should be Homeschooling my child? Somebody slap me!
What if I just focussed on other things I can do online such as selling my art, or my writings, or start blogging? Or what about being able to do Skype sessions with people across the world between my timezone and others in their timezones? Maybe I could sell my tips in a book? Maybe the business structure that I thought I was going to give my business, isn’t? What if it’s something I can do at night when my child has gone to bed?
I don’t know how exhausted I’ll be after a big day of Homeschooling.
So I don’t know. These are all just thoughts at this stage.
But you know what, I think I’m getting really EXCITED about Homeschooling. That right there is a big clue that this should be something I should follow. Why don’t I follow it?
The only thing is that I would still like to be able to attend business information sessions or seminars and at such times, what would I do about my child? I would need to turn to a Babysitter. In that regard, I’m going to have to really do my research on a bunch of local babysitters and see how much they each cost and work out whether they would be able to help me with this or that. In saying that, I do have my little sister, Chelsis, who does babysitting for us when we need a night out. It could just mean that this could be an opportunity for Chelsis to gain more work hours.
All in all, for me, this year has been a year about getting in touch with the essence of, the core of, Me and what I really, really WANT to be doing. And you know, this is a massive and surprising curve ball. A very surprising but a very good curve ball because maybe I THOUGHT I wanted to throw myself into THIS kind of business, but maybe I just really want to be HOMESCHOOLING my child and working an online / blogging business?
Either way, I think I’m getting very excited about this. So watch this space!